Surviving. Sort of.

Day 9 after surgery. Currently listening to Disney Princess CD in a desperate attempt to pacify Baby Girl and pry her from my hip for twenty minutes. Sissy says she sounds different now. Friends have asked if her voice has changed. I wouldn’t know – unless her new voice is a high pitched whine which is all I’ve heard for the past nine days.

The surgery itself went well. Nurses kept her occupied with toys and colors before surgery. Baby Girl had no idea what was about to happen. Protested mightily at taking off her pj’s and putting on the hospital gown even though it was covered with puppies and kittens. Absolutely refused to put on the fuzzy socks. Once they got her slightly sedated off she went, barefooted, into the surgical area, where I could not follow. Thankfully my friend Charlotte was there to distract me. She and Tony and I ate McDonald’s breakfast in the waiting room and it wasn’t until she left that I felt the nerves kick in. Only had to wait about ten more minutes though until the surgeon came and told me she had done perfectly and would be going back to recovery very soon.

When they finally let Tony and I back to the recovery room Baby Girl was just coming out of the anesthesia and she was frantic. I was already taking my shoes off when the nurse said “Mama you can get in the bed with her.” I crawled in and tried to console her but she would not be consoled until she was laying on top of me and I was singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She fell asleep on my chest. And the nurse had already given her her paccy back so my strategy of taking her paccy’s away (because I thought it would hurt to suck on them) fell completely flat. Amazingly, the doctor said it was perfectly fine for her to have them. So I just totally let it go. Still letting it go nine days later… probably will be letting it go for another few months. Maybe years.

That was just the beginning though. Once we finally made it up to a room, the nurse told us that she would be in quite a bit of pain for a good 7 to 10 days. I thought – no problem, I got this. At day 9 I can tell you – I don’t got this. It has been ROUGH. People ask how she’s doing and I hedge … she’s doing OK I say. The truth is she has major ups and downs. She’ll have a good few hours where’s she laughing and playing and happy. And then the other 22 hours of the day she’ll be whining, crying, laying on my chest, stuck to my hip and otherwise totally miserable. And I feel so bad for her but at the same time I’m thinking will this ever end?!

I have to say Cook Children’s Hospital is pretty neat. The pre-surgical area is just one big room with kids in cubicles and nurses and doctors everywhere. The word swarming comes to mind. I didn’t mind it – it was actually pretty interesting and distracting at the same time. They had teenagers or maybe young adults (I can hardly tell anymore) whose sole purpose it was to bring toys to the children. Very nice nurses, very nice people everywhere.

And the nurse in the room was great, too. I was completely surprised at how much we were NOT bothered. If she was asleep they let her sleep. There would be hours going by where I would not see a nurse at all. The first nurse we had let her eat anything she wanted. Even crackers and stuff like that. She also encouraged us to visit “The Zone” – the play area. Baby Girl wasn’t ready for The Zone the first time we went. She just cried until I took her back to the room. The second (night) nurse did not want Baby Girl to eat anything except soft stuff and she had the harder job of administering more medications that were yucky. But we survived and Daddy arrived to take us home the next morning by 10. She slept the entire way home. AND SHE DID NOT SNORE.

Baby Girl is no longer snoring when she sleeps. This stresses me out because I am so used to listening to her while she sleeps that now I have to lean over and look at her and even put my hand on her chest to make sure she’s ok! Because, yes, she is still sleeping in mommy’s room.

Very slowly she is improving. We are just taking it day by day. Some things that have taken me by surprise –

1. Her breath. Holy Mother of God it’s like something died in there. Which I suppose it did. But couldn’t someone have warned me? Sonic doesn’t have enough mints for this!
2. The surgeon did not come check on her the next morning. We have a follow up appointment in four weeks (well three now). I guess she’s supposed to be perfectly fine between the surgery itself and the follow up appt a month later.
3. The lack of instruction regarding care at home. It was only days later that I discovered in my original packet from the doctor that I received at our “sleep study results” appointment the post-surgery instructions and care. Did not realize that was in there. Totally winging it before then.
4. The drastic change in my Baby Girl. She has lost weight, doesn’t want to eat, spent a week being constipated, and is sleeping without snoring but still wakes up from pain. I am still praying and hoping another few days will make a world of difference for her and we will come through this having learned a lot and with a new and healthier zest for life.

In my usual fashion I was completely prepared up to the day of the surgery without any thought of what happens afterwards. If anyone ever tells you that your child needs her tonsils out – yes, she probably does – but BE PREPARED. I wasn’t.

Thanks for the wine, Dad.

Author: Julie

I've spent most of my adult life being a hunter/jumper riding instructor, horse trainer and business owner. Married at 35 - a child was agreed upon and born in 2014 when I was almost 39. Life as I knew it had gone for good... View all posts by Julie