Pat and Feel

Five am is very early. That’s been my wake up time lately. About 3 I start moving around, uncomfortable because the Advil has worn off. I can last til about 5, 5:30 but then I have to get up. Which leaves me with almost two hours before I wake the small beast for school.

Two hours is a long time in the dark quiet of the morning. I can hear the owls hoot outside my office window. I pause to listen. I think about Daphne and I’m glad she is inside the barn. I start to think about that book I want to write and I know I need to start. But not this morning. This morning I’m going to tackle the god-awful mess that is our “back room.” The room where all the stuff goes that has nowhere else to go – what the British might call the “box room.” The room covered in glitter because it’s also Baby Girl’s craft room. The cat box is in there, as evidenced by the kitty litter scritching under my feet. The recycling. The stuff I use for camp. Basically if you don’t know where something is that’s the first place you should look for it. Chances are I’ve tried to chunk it back there because I’m tired of looking at it.

Needless to say it’s a wreck. Titanic size and daunting. I’m determined, though, and I dive in. Next thing I know it’s time to wake up Baby Girl. I’ve sorted through the mess, emptied the glitter outside in the dark where I listened to more owls, cleaned the cat box, swept the floors and mopped. All before 6:45 am. Even the kitchen floor has been mopped. Because if you have the mop out you might as well use it.

I stand briefly at the door to the back room and I “pat and feel” for a minute. How many of you southerners know the saying? My Mom and Dad were big pat and feelers. It means you admire a job well done. Especially a HARD job well done. It means pride in your accomplishment, and I come from a long line of hard workers. I admire the room some more and then sigh, because I know how long – exactly – the room will remain pristine. Maybe an hour.

Today I did the playroom. Not at 5 am, but while Baby Girl was at school. The temptation to throw shit away when she’s not there is so strong I can barely keep it in check. She has gotten more organized as she’s grown and when I can convince her (sometimes by yelling) she CAN put things away nicely and importantly – where they actually go. I’m going to make an organizer and accomplisher of her yet. And yes, I know accomplisher is not an actual word but I like it.

I like to pat and feel. I like to show others the fruit of my labor. I will go back during the day multiple times to look at it again. As long as it still looks good I will admire it and pat myself on the back over and over again. Showing the husband what I’ve done is almost as satisfactory, but he’s not my Mom or Dad and he doesn’t truly appreciate the concept of the pat and feel technique. Dad would tell you a dozen times in one day what he had done that day that was important to him. He insisted that you pat and feel his accomplishments as well as your own. And you better had, or you would be subjected to hearing about it fourteen times. Sometimes it hadn’t even worn off by the next day, or God Forbid, even the next week. So you see I’ve had lots of practice at the pat and feel technique.

I’m desperately trying to pass this along to Baby Girl. I am going to make a hard worker of her yet. There’s hope there. She takes excellent care of her pony – when she wants to. You cannot deter her when she is in the middle of doing something – she is going to finish and that is that. Even if you were supposed to leave for something or other fifteen minutes ago. Once she’s committed she’s all in. To be honest this pleases me except when it involves watching something on youtube kids. Then I want to throw the computer out the window. And sometimes her along with it. Then I just slam the computer closed and handle the consequential crying with a shrug and a “get your butt out the door.”

Anyway, if you are a morning person I highly recommend cleaning something at that hour. Your husband won’t walk on it, your kid won’t insist on playing in it, and you can get some serious work done, in peace. Chances are you yourself have enjoyed the pat and feel technique. Even if it’s just making it through the day and actually showering once. Maybe getting dressed, or brushing your hair. Or maybe you wrote a dissertation or built a bookshelf. Whatever it is, OWN IT. Enjoy it! Pat yourself on the back because, Girl, you deserve to.

Author: Julie

I've spent most of my adult life being a hunter/jumper riding instructor, horse trainer and business owner. Married at 35 - a child was agreed upon and born in 2014 when I was almost 39. Life as I knew it had gone for good...

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