It’s been awhile, I know. It’s been so long that WordPress changed the entire make up of my site and I didn’t even know. There’s a good reason it’s been a long time since I’ve posted.
I was tired. Worn out. Barely functioning.
Today I have a break. My hubby and Baby Girl have gone off to visit the grandparents. Leaving me here to DO WHATEVER I WANT. Bliss. Heaven. Time to myself, to rejuvenate, to renew, to re-energize. I had looked forward to today (and tomorrow!) for about two weeks. Holding on to the thought of being alone for two days as my sanity waned and threatened to give out. These two days were my life-line – my rope. And I made it. After a hellish weekend I woke this morning, early of course, to pack their bags and send them off with a happy wave. Let me know when you get there! Have a great time! Love you!
Immediately sat down and wrote a looonnnggg list of everything I wanted to accomplish. Now, last time I got to be alone for two days I sat on my couch and barely moved. But this time, oh ho! I had a plan. A plan to actually get a bunch of things done that I have wanted to do for ages. I knew I would get to spend more than 5 minutes at a time working on something without being interrupted, I could go in and out of the house as I pleased and I could decide at the last minute if I wanted to do something else. Those of you who have young children KNOW what I’m talking about. “Baby Girl, Mama needs to work on this one thing for a little bit.” NOOOOOO MAMA I NEED YOU! I thirsty! I hungy! I have to potty! “OK Baby Girl, hold on and I will help you. OK here you go – all set?”
Three to seven minutes later…. MAMA?! Pway me, mama! Pwease?! MAMA?! MAMA get up! MAMA pwwwwweeeeeaaaaasssssseeeeeee! Sigh. “Baby Girl – 5 mins ok?” NOOOO! MAMAMAMAMAMMAMA. “OK OK! I’m coming!” An hour later – “OK Baby Girl we’ve played and ate and drank and done the potty and brushed your teeth at noon and fed the cat and now Mama is going to do some work.” OK Mama.
One… two… three… Mama? “Yes Lovie?” Mama go outside? “Not right now Lovie.” Baby Girl disappears. Things get quiet. I can hear her reading her books to her dolls. Then silence. Five minutes pass. I can’t concentrate. What on earth is she doing so quietly? I’d better go see. Peek around the corner. Baby Girl sees me and grins. Mama I color! Groan. Baby Girl is coloring all over her wooden puzzle pieces. Getting out the magic eraser now…
And on it goes. Just like that. For the ENTIRE day. And of course, it’s not entirely Baby Girl either. There’s lots of other things that wear me out. Emotionally, especially. Sometimes when I tell my husband that I want to lie down for awhile, it’s not necessarily because I’m tired enough to sleep. It’s because I want to escape. Escape from everything I constantly have to think about and deal with and handle. Just an hour in that cool, dark, quiet room does wonders for my productivity and attitude.
But today? Today I got to do a hundred tiny things that made me happy. And I got to do them in silence, all by myself. I went outside and checked on my trees – are they growing ok? I put fly predators out in the pasture – just walked around our entire property. I did laundry in peace. I cleaned out the fridge and the pantry. Then I got in the car and I ran errands all alone – no Baby Girl in the backseat whining or threatening to hurl. No feeling like I had to hurry back home again so that hubby could go mow paddocks or work on the fencing or the myriad of other constant projects we have around here. No having to come back early to pick up Baby Girl or teach a lesson.
And it’s just simple stuff really – Walmart, the bank, the AT&T store. Hell I even got a haircut. Tomorrow I may even get a pedicure! The possibilities are endless! Tomorrow I get to sleep late! Well, you know, 7 am or so. The horses still have to be fed. But still – I can wake up without a small child saying Mommy? Mommy, watch Mouse? at 6 am. I can wake up and just lay there for awhile if I want to. I can’t even explain to you how ecstatic I am about that. Whenever I do decide to get up I can eat my breakfast without having to share. I can go out and feed the horses without having the usual fight over getting dressed. I can come back inside without the insistence that we stay outside and swing. In fact I hardly want to go to bed tonight because then tomorrow will come, and then Wednesday and then my loves will be home and then all this “me time” will be over, until next time.
But I sure will be happy to see my Baby Girl and her Daddy!
