It’s 10 am. Baby Girl likes to play hide and seek. She’ll get all serious, start whispering and put her finger to her lips – shhhh she tells me, we need to hide! But if we hide Baby Girl, who is going to find us? Daddy will! she says. Sure he will Baby, in a few hours when it occurs to him to look for us. We’re in her bedroom, playing. She opens the closet door and yanks and tugs my arm until I agree to hide in the closet. I sit down in the closet with my back against the wall (this is starting to feel a little weird) and she begins to cover me with stuffed animals. What’s this? She asks. That’s a fla-min-go. Fa-mingo? Yep, that’s right. Fa-mingo goes in my arms. As well as Duck, Bunny, pink puppy, big puppy, plastic giraffe, little white horse, and a pink and blue hat on top of my head to complete the disguise.
Ok shhhhh!! I find you! She closes the door and I sit in the darkness. Hey this isn’t so bad, I think. I don’t mind playing hide and seek. Sit in the quiet peaceful darkness in the closet, away from everything? Right up my alley! Five seconds go by. Then, crrreeeaaakkk – door starts to open. I wait patiently. She jumps in and “I find you!!!” she screeches. Yep you found me alright. Why don’t we play again Baby? You leave me here and go do something else for awhile and come find me again in an hour, ok? OK Mama! 10 seconds this time. “I FIND YOU!” Damn. Not exactly what I had in mind.
1o:30 am. Now we’re on to counting pennies. Fascination with her Owl Bank and putting the pennies in and taking them out again. No use at all for the three $5 dollar bills she has received from her Godparents. She tosses those aside. Pennies are much more entertaining than $5 bills! If only we all could be so easy to please as regards money. I manage to sneak out while she’s counting “1, 2, 5, 7…2, 11, 8…”
11:15 am. I am happily sorting laundry (why do people complain about laundry? I don’t mind it at all – almost immediate gratification and relaxing as well) when Baby Girl has decided she’s done counting. I think it’s been at most 5 minutes. Mama! Dance me! Jump me! Monkey on the bed! Pwease?! Little hands up under her chin and sweetly tilting her head to one side and looking up at me under her eyelashes. Little conniver. OK I say, let’s go jump. So I hold her hands and sing “Five little monkeys jumping on the bed” for what seems like eternity while she jumps up and down on the chaise in my office. I’ll be singing “one fell off and bumped her head” all night now. Instead of sleeping. Mama I hungy!! I swear this kid should be growing like a weed considering how much she eats. But she’s still tiny. So we go find pea-butter and cwackers and yogurt.
11:45 am. Once she’s happily eating and watching “Mouse” I sneak off to do some more work. I’m busily working on the computer in my office when it occurs to me that it’s awfully quiet. I can hear Mouse but nothing else. Damn I think. I have to go investigate. She’s no longer eating her pea-butter. She’s not in the living room. She’s not in the playroom. Ah ha! She’s in her bedroom reading her books out loud to her babies. Awww. So sweet! I’ll just watch silently for a min… ah crap, she saw me peak around the door. MAMA!! Come wead me! Sigh. So much for getting any work done. But there’s no way you can NOT go investigate when your almost 3-year old is being eerily quiet. Because chances are she’s not sweetly reading to her babies. You’ll usually find her coloring on something that isn’t paper. Or covering herself in yogurt. Or giving her dolls a bath. Or trying to brush the cat’s teeth. Investigating the silence is imperative.
12:30 pm. OK Baby, I’ve read 12 books, I need to go do some work. It’s nap time, isn’t it? NOOOOOOO no nap, I not sweepy, I wake up! Tantrum starts to escalate due to the threat of my undivided attention being taken away. Baby, I say, it’s sleepy time. NOOOOOO! I can’t! I can’t sweep! OK how about you go do the laundry and clean the house and run the business, and I’ll sleep. I don’t mind. She just stares at me, still crying. Eventually I get her to go to sleep. In my bed, with all her “stuff” – which includes blankie, snuggie, multiple paccy’s, Mouse, little mouse, Kitty and sippy cup (water – don’t freak out). No socks, no pants. This kid has a lot of requirements.
1:30 pm. Thirty minutes later I hear little feet padding down the hall. REALLY?! THIRTY MINUTES?! Sigh. This is going to be a very long day…..
