I should’ve seen it coming. Anytime there’s a horseshow coming up, or a weekend that is going to be very busy – it rains. Baby Girl gets sick. Something happens that requires emergency attention. My whole weekend shot to hell.
I am bleary eyed. At 5:45 am I was informed that someone was too sick to go to school today. “You want to hear my bad cough Mommy?” Kid, I’ve heard it. I’ve heard it all night. And for pete’s sake go back to sleep – it’s Saturday. “Noooo” she whines “I want to get uuuuupppp!” And because I know it won’t stop until I do, I get up. Get her settled watching a movie. Can’t go back in my bedroom because Tony is asleep from working the night shift and it’s not like Baby Girl is going to let me sleep anyway. The dog is whining. Have to call Dad to tell him to get his medicine out at 6 am. Have to call him again at 7 to be sure he’s doing it. Was supposed to sleep there last night but didn’t want to expose him to Baby Girl’s germs.
It’s 7:55 and I’ve already fed the horses, given the cat endless treats, ripped at least five things out of the dog’s mouth that she’s not supposed to be chewing on, started the laundry, gotten the Princess Tylenol that she won’t take – she has a 101.6 fever – and taken stock of my wreck of a house. I’ve already had one Diet Coke and am working on a Dr. Pepper. The horses have been in for three days and I’m going to have to turn them all out in the mud later. I need to do invoices and the lesson schedule for November. HOW is it already November?!
My brother is coming from Austin today to discuss with me and Dad what our future options are for my Mom. Super fun conversation. Can’t wait. Tony will get to escape at 3:30 and go back to work while I *possibly* help the kids get ready for the horseshow tomorrow – I haven’t heard that it’s been canceled and it probably won’t be canceled until the horses are all back in the stalls bathed and prepped and the tack is all clean. I won’t be able to teach in my arena for at least three consecutive sunny days and it’s going to rain again on Tuesday.
Annnnnddddd Dad just called and informed me he needs to go back to the ER. Something not right with the wound from his surgery. A hard ball that is getting bigger and is very painful, which the doctor dismissed yesterday at the appointment. I have not been impressed with this doctor. He JUST got the wound vac off yesterday.
Is there a plus side? I can’t think of one at the moment. I want to wring my hands in despair and lay my head in the cradle of my arms and start drinking RIGHT NOW. I want to FIX everything and it’s all out of my hands.
Is God trying to tell me something here? Don’t sweat the small stuff? Enjoy the teeny tiny positives in life? Don’t strangle the dog for chewing up your boots or the cats when they won’t stop walking back and forth over your keyboard? They are still God’s creatures after all. God, if there was ever a time I needed you, my family needed you, to not only walk beside us, but CARRY us – it’s now. Please let the footprints in the sand be yours. Please give us inspiration and strength and wisdom and faith.
Also, please bring me a house cleaning fairy and a wine membership.
Get dad to pay for house cleaning fairy
I remember being in the sandwich. That’s where you are. I help it together until mom had her stroke. Then I never left town for a horse show unless round trip I could get to it, watch Megan ride, drive home. I didn’t haul a horse then. And then after 8 months I let a couple of people convince me I could go to an eventing rally by A&M. I could count on 1 hand the number of days i had missed visiting mom, meeting with docs. But i thought OK. I wanted to watch Megan ride. I wanted to do a little extra than teach, mother, drive to the barn, cook, tend to dogs & cats, visit mom & deal with her care & be a wife. She thought she would go home. Bill & I knew she would not. We were dealing with the horrific mess she had lived in. We needed it cleaned, cleared.
I went to the rally. I told Mom on Thursday Megan & I would be leaving at 3 the next day. I told her i was only a phone call away.
Mim was put in Hospice care in February. In late March they called me in to say she was living too long!!! Really??!! Ir was now early/mid June. We were both just out of school about 7-10 days.
We went. There was no cell service in farm country then. Closer to the cafe, we did have service. My phone blew up. Sheree’s blew up. Maybe even yours. The messages were garbled. I needed to get to Richardson immediately. Mistake #100. Sheree drove. I was to rest.
Rachel’s mom got me in her van. I left Megs, my clothes, everything but my purse & phone. I left Sheree money for Megan snacks (more than she had already packed), any supplies she needed.
I remember Parr of the ride home. Finally was able to talk to the charge nurse. She explained she had left a message on our home phone that mom has the death rattled & I needed to get home NOW. I explained through tears I was racing home. I asked where the hospice nurse was, as a nurse was to be with mom the minute there was a sign of the rattle. We had a few words. Mom died before I got to her. Still have never forgiven myself.
We all have a million stories of being in the sandwich. You are not alone. ❤🙏❤