Things did not go the way I imagined. In a long ago time, when I was just a gal with no kids, I had visions of how parenting would be. I’m sure everyone does. What a laugh! Can you imagine if it actually turned out the way you have it in your head?! Perfect, beautiful children that never make messes, never scream, never stick their tongues out at you, behave in public and can play by themselves for hours on end – what a dream.
OK I didn’t really think that was how it would be. But here is what I did think…
I had visions of a little girl with perfect pigtails and pinafore dresses. Reality – a kid that will not let me do anything with her hair and a me that says here put on these shorts and tee shirt and LET’S GO. Where are your shoes?! Can you find your shoes please? Oh hell, just get in the truck. You don’t need shoes. We are NOT taking fifteen snuggies in the truck!
Dream – it would be Me and Baby. Together always and operating as a team. She’d be with me while I teach lessons, we’d go shopping together and have lunch and have nice, happy days playing.
Reality while I’m teaching – Baby! Baby! Holy Shit, would you get over here please? You’re gonna get run over! QUIT RUNNING AWAY FROM ME! PUT THOSE FLOWERS BACK in the flower boxes! (Me to husband – would you PLEASE take her inside?!)
Reality while shopping – SIT DOWN IN THE CART! NO! SIT DOWN! KID YOU BETTER SIT DOWN. NO you can’t push the cart, NO you can’t lay on the floor and be dragged by the cart. NO you can’t have what’s in that box of cereal. SIT DOWN. QUIT GRABBING AT MY NECK (face, arm, leg, whatever). OMG I’m dying. Please quit staring at me. Where’s the damn exit? I just needed milk for God’s sake.
Reality while eating lunch (at home even, not going out. I can’t even write about that horror. At least not right now. I’ll break out in hives.) – What do you want to eat? Grapes? No. Yogurt? No. Peanut butter? No. Crackers? YES. Crackers. Well ok then. Sit in your chair please. Sit down please. SIT IN YOUR CHAIR. Ok here are the crackers. You want milk? Yes, good, here you go. No you can’t have cookies. Yes you have to put on the bib, sorry that’s non-negotiable. (Tears off bib – I struggle to force it back on.) SHIT. Ok fine no bib. She’s eating, Thank God. Yay I get to clean the kitchen, do some laundry, eat something myself maybe.
An hour later – ARE YOU DONE YET?! Holy moses can you please finish up?! Geez louise I am tired of being in the kitchen! As she smiles sweetly and eats a nibble off her second cracker. A few months ago we finally managed to stop her from throwing anything she didn’t want on the floor. I think I cried that day.
I do have to admit that Baby Girl will play by herself sometimes. And it’s amazing. Those are my happy days. I can do my work and get the laundry done and she doesn’t whine or cry or attach herself to my leg. This happens about twice a month. Every other day of the month I’m drinking wine by 3:00.
Dream versus reality of parenting is a serious let-down. The one dream that does come true though, is how much that Baby Girl loves her mama. So I endure. We ALL endure. Because those little baby hugs and kisses make all the other shit melt away.
You are blessed to have a “normal” child.
The days are long but the years are short