It appears that the better Baby Girl sleeps, the better I sleep. The better I sleep, the better mood I’m in. And the better Baby Girl sleeps the better mood she’s in. A win win. Except I can’t get her to sleep well.
We have progressed to this:
Baby Girl goes to bed in her OWN bed in her OWN room about 7:30 every night. It was 9:00 every night but I finally decided that her naps were just screwing everything up and she’s better off without them. I had to acknowledge that I would also be better off without her naps (I was typically napping with her) because staying up until 9:00 pm with her was driving me nuts. It took me months to acknowledge this and then to actually change the routine. I hate change. It’s scary and uncomfortable. Let’s just continue on the way we are indefinitely because it is working – sort of. Sure, it could be better but it could also be worse! Glass half full, right?
So about three to four hours after she goes to sleep she’s awake, crying briefly, and coming into my room to sleep on the toddler mattress by my bed. I ALWAYS wake up during this process. Not least because I am expected to go get her blankie, snuggie and paccy and bring them to her, and then cover her up. With the fuzzy side of the blankie on the outside. Of course. Oh and get my water while you’re at it Mommy. So then she snoozes fitfully, on and off the mattress until about 6 am. As soon as the cat thinks that she is even a teensy bit conscious, he starts meowing. Loudly. Consistently. If he has been working, my husband arrives about 2:30 am. I am aware of every one of these activities. So despite having gone to bed at a reasonable hour, and getting up about 6:15 am (I would prefer 7:15) – I am always exhausted.
These confessions lead to more confessions, and more future battles. She still has her paccy. Yes. They’re messing up her mouth, I know this. Not terribly, but some. She thinks she can’t live without them. I think she can. I have yet to test this theory. She cannot be convinced she doesn’t need them – I’ve tried that. So the only thing is, do I make a huge deal about taking them away, or do they simply all disappear? I cannot decide how to handle this, thus she still has her paccy’s and I am still beating myself up over it. (Advice on this dilemma is welcomed – maybe someone’s advice will piss me off enough that I take action.)
Toddler mattress in my bedroom. I could move it, I suppose. But I truly think she would simply sleep on the floor. The bigger issue is keeping her in her bed in the first place. I have a baby gate that I could attach to her doorway so she cannot get out. And how many nights will she scream bloody murder and cry like she’s been abandoned to the wolves before she understands that if she sleeps the whole night through she won’t even notice there’s a gate there? Also, what furniture or toys will she move so that she can climb over and out? And what about those paccy’s? Do I do take them away before or after I install the baby gate?
And finally – water at night. I am fully aware that if she drinks water at night she will need to pee. She is not potty trained yet, because she simply refuses. She does not care if she’s wet. She barely cares if she’s poopy. She is absolutely able to use the potty and will do it if the mood strikes – usually when she’s in the bathtub. We even tried a potty chart, with prizes and M&M’s which she loves. This worked for two weeks and I really thought we were on the right path towards panties. Then, inexplicably, she simply stopped. I am flummoxed. I try not to make a huge deal of it, because I think that if I insist and get all flared up, she will dig her toes in even more. She is my child, after all.
So battle lines NEED to be drawn here. I know it, my husband knows it and Baby Girl knows it. Husband and Baby Girl are both waiting on me to take a stand. Frankly, I’m waiting on me to take a stand. Like I said earlier, if you have advice on any of this feel free to lay it on me. Can’t guarantee that yours is the advice I’ll take (or any of it, frankly) but I am desperate enough to entertain someone else’s ideas!
It’s time to grow up a little Baby Girl. Mommy’s working on it.
