Month: February 2025

Homeschool Update

We’re a month in and it’s going… alright. There are good things and bad things about it.

The good things include that I no longer need to hold my breath as I wait in the car line after school to pick her up, worried she’s upset or that the Principal is about to call me, or that she “doesn’t feel good” or that someone picked on her today. No weepy, whiny child at the pick up line. No pick up line at all, in fact (which is a blessing in itself).

Now when I pick her up on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays she is a happy girl. Except for one day when I inadvertently immediately gave her the bad news that they gave me the wrong bagels at Einstein Brothers and not the ones she wanted. I didn’t think it would cause quite the melt down it did, seeing as how she’s ten. Her meltdown over something so trivial is so typical for a kid that can’t seem to control her emotions very well. I should have let it go. But I got mad. And when I get REALLY mad I end up crying. Which makes her very sorry. So that wasn’t a good day. But at least it wasn’t because of school.

Today she happily bounces to the car and shoves her gear in the back seat. Did you have a good day? I ask. Yes! Today they had the sweetest Mad Hatter Valentine’s Tea Party that you ever saw. They made hats and had an actual tea party. The tables were covered in patchwork quilts and there were fairy lights and balloons. The effort these teachers go into, and especially the head, Miss Tiffany, is extraordinary.

Every morning Baby Girl gets up happily and gets herself ready for school. She makes an effort to look cute and dress nice. She lets me brush her hair. Pig tails are her newest “look” and we carefully craft them every day. I still make her lunch for her, but she has not yet forgotten anything she needs for school. She wears her mud boots every day because it has been rainy and cold and they are outside a lot. They have a firepit they all gather around at the end of the day when they are waiting for parents to pick up. They have a large white dog called Roland that literally smiles at Baby Girl every time he sees her. He does not do the same for me.

It’s fun and she’s having a blast. The school work involved is right at her skill level and right up her alley. They play a lot of math games, they read Harry Potter and interpret verbs, nouns, and other literary devices. They create. They sew and cook and learn to clean up. They learn about their bodies and use themselves and what’s around them for science lessons. She leaves each day excited and happy and that’s worth everything to me.

On the other hand…. Thursdays…. are HARD. First of all, I am used to having a lot of time at home by myself where I can work in peace that I am no longer getting. Picking her up at 2 pm is great but gives me very limited time to get things done, especially if I need to drive somewhere. And Thursdays I get absolutely nothing done, except a small bit of schoolwork. We try. We really do. We start out pretty good. She feeds the horses and eats breakfast. Then we sit down at the table together. It doesn’t take long for us to butt heads. She wants to do spelling, grammar and writing. I want to do reading, social studies and other things like bible study and executive functioning skills. Someone I was venting to said to me… the teacher decides what is to be done and she does it, right? And I’m like, yeah when she’s at school, but at home I’m still just her mom. We are having trouble changing hats, for sure. I also want to do stuff like laundry and cleaning up (not necessarily with her help but it would be nice) and she wants to chill out on her Ipad and play with the dog.

It’s only been a couple of Thursdays. I am still working out the kinks and trying to see what will work and what will not. I know I need to supplement her instruction with work on Thursdays. She also has a math/science tutor once a week for an hour. I don’t know if it’s enough. I think that taking out all the unnecessary things they did at Public School is a bonus for her. Shorter school days benefit her mind and attitude for sure. I mean, who wants to do an hour and a half of English followed immediately by an hour and a half of math? And then the same for Science in the afternoon, and forty five minutes of social studies. Add in all the Art, PE, STEM, Music and Library they do and that is a LOT for a kid to handle each day. In my opinion. Then recess being the last activity of the day…. what’s the point?

And having Fridays off is amazing. She gets to chill out all day and I won’t have to worry about leaving for horseshows when they start up again in March. We can do all the horseshows we want and not get penalized for school absences. My husband is also off on Fridays so it’s a great day for us. Probably my favorite day of the week! I try so hard to cram everything I need to do into those few hours she’s at the co-op and handling Thursdays that by Friday I’m also ready for the break.

So far so good. We will continue to beat down Thursdays until we get it ironed out and it becomes something we do and not something I dread. Any advice for Thursdays is welcome! Also, she has taken it upon herself to feed the horses every weekday night, which is amazing and helpful. She has a riding schedule that she made herself. Unless it’s freezing cold then I refuse to go out there and supervise (she doesn’t complain either!) ha ha. We are fair weather folk for sure. Today I have the heater on in my office and I’m still cold.

I know we will get there. I know this was the right decision for Baby Girl. She will thrive and grow and learn to regulate herself. I am excited for her, and I am thrilled not to have a knot in my stomach every day. She hasn’t been telling me she doesn’t feel good in the mornings or that her stomach hurts. She’s not procrastinating on getting in the car. She’s making a concerted effort and it shows. God showed us the way and I’m so glad we listened.

Testing

I have a neurologist. This is a goal I have finally managed to achieve. After many, many years without insurance we finally bit the bullet and I signed onto Tony’s insurance last September. I’m not getting any younger and things are starting to go a bit South so I thought now is as good a time as any.

I have gone to the dermatologist, the ENT doctor and had a mammogram done. Went to the cardiologist to check things out there (when I was younger I had a slight cardiac issue which seems to have disappeared as I aged). I had a more intensive mammogram to check my “dense breast tissue.” I had a spot removed from my face at the Derm. All good. And of course, the digestive issues with the Barrett’s Esophagus which currently seems to be under control. The depression is better managed with psychiatrist help. All in all I’m doing pretty good, all things considered.

But the neurologist I was anxious about. I wanted to go. With such a strong history of Alzheimer’s and dementia on my Mom’s side of the family I felt it would be important to start early. To start now. What can I do to prevent it? What do you look for? What kind of things do I need to be on the lookout for? How will I know? Can I sign up for trials? New medications? Lots of questions and only one place will know the answers.

So I went. As I sat down with the Nurse Practitioner and spelled out my history she was extremely sympathetic and efficient. She said that first we would do the initial tests that they do for anyone suspecting dementia. As I flew through that testing I remembered very clearly sitting there in a different office with my Mom. My Mom who could not draw a clock. Who could not name any words that started with the letter F. Except for Fuck. Which she said. My mom could not count backwards by seven’s. It was made abundantly clear to us that she was indeed suffering from some type of dementia at that time. Of course, that was why we went.

The doctor my Mom went to was particularly unhelpful – if you’ll possibly remember my earlier blogs they said “yes she has Alzheimer’s – see you in six months.” And that was it. They did put her on some medication or other which I cannot remember now what it was. It didn’t help. She was too far gone for that.

At any rate, as I sat there with the nurse practitioner going through these tests and she was telling me how excellent I was doing, I thought, yes but I’m only 49. That’s why I’m here. Why didn’t my Mom admit what was happening to her early enough to do something, anything, that might have made a difference? We will never know her logic behind that one except that it was second nature to her to keep secrets, to not admit that she needs help. To tell no one what was happening. To bear her cross alone.

The doctor came in to meet with me after that. She explained that we’ll do an EEG and an MRI and some blood work. I am grateful that they are taking me seriously. They ask if I want to do the genetic testing to find out if I’m predisposed to Alzheimer’s. I say absolutely not. I already suffer from severe depression that is finally somewhat controlled. I do NOT want to know that I someday will for sure, or mostly for sure, develop Alzheimer’s. It would ruin my life.

Knowing that there is a 20% hereditary chance is enough. I feel that there is probably more a chance of myself developing some type of dementia than there is not, due to every woman on my Mom’s side of the family having it to some degree. BUT. The women on my Dad’s side? Not at all. So maybe I inherited enough of my Dad to have missed that particular bullet. I will live in hope, but plan for the worst.

Someday we will sell our place and move East. East to East Texas where the pine trees grow tall and the red dirt sticks to your shoes. Where I feel most at home. We will build our dreamhouse and I will find another neurologist nearby who will help me navigate the un-navigatable. I will find someone who cares what happens to me and my family, who will keep us in the loop and not brush us off. It will be interesting to know what the MRI and EEG and blood work show. This is just a baseline I am told. We expect everything to be perfectly normal at this point.

I am not my Mom. I know that. But I plan on honoring her memory by doing everything I possibly can to avoid the disease that killed her at just 75. I am not going to go down without a fight. You can count on that.

This is the road I am traveling. I will travel it loudly and with every effort to avoid what happened to her. And I will share my life with you. We all need someone to show us the way. If dementia or Alzheimer’s is in your family, I will be your WAY. I will share every step I take with you. I will let you know what is happening with all the strength I have in me.

I am afraid. But I will do it anyway. I will live anyway. I will BE anyway. And I will share it all with you, that is my promise. Travel with me, friends, and let me know how I can help you.

With love and kisses and all the best intentions,

Julie