Baby Girl is asleep in her bed. In her room. This is no small feat. Currently, Sissy is in there with her, to encourage her to stay in her room. Last night was the first time I insisted she sleep in her own room. An hour of screaming, kicking, crying, tears, throwing things and finally succumbing to letting me rock her and she was asleep in her own bed for the first time in months. She stayed there until 4:20 a.m. at which point she came back in my room.
Tonight? A little bit of fuss but no screaming. 15 minutes instead of 60. HUGE progress. I am sure at some point she will be back in my bedroom but I am encouraged nonetheless. It has been a very long time since I’ve been able to sleep in my room without Baby Girl in it. Some parents may think that I shouldn’t mind if she’s in there, these same parents don’t mind if their child sleeps in their bed with them. These parents are probably a lot more relaxed and outgoing than I am. Frankly, I need my space. If I’m going to be a good parent, the best Mom I can be, then I NEED my child to sleep in her own room. Since my Baby Girl has been, essentially, pretty sick for a long time, she has been on my heels day and night. She has learned a lot of bad habits during this time, and it’s time to get things back under control. The very first step is night time separation.
In the aftermath of her surgery, everyone asks if she is sleeping better. And the honest truth, is No. She is not snoring, that is true. I am pretty sure she is breathing a hell of a lot better. But she still wakes up and wants me to “cover her” and looks for her paccy, and her snuggie, and generally wakes me up about 3 or 4 times per night. After two weeks of recovery, and realizing this, I am aware that the sleeping in my room thing is a bigger deal than I thought. Since I am now assured that the kid can actually breathe and won’t strangle on her own spit in the night, I am cutting the rest of the cord as well. Baby Girl, you’re going to have to suck it up and find your own paccy, your own snuggie, and cover your own self up. Mommy is done and Mommy is tired, and Mommy is finally saying enough.
I have ordered her a “big girl bed.” It’s adorable of course, with shelving on the head board and storage underneath. I know my cousin will be thrilled to have her crib back. Just as thrilled as my Dad will be to store it until he can deliver it to her. I look at it though, as “wow, another milestone. Another thing we are through with – the baby crib.” And it’s kind of sad. It follows the bottles and the sippy cups and the diapers (which we haven’t quite finished with and which I actually won’t miss). She already is a little girl and not a baby. It’s astonishing to think she is now 3 years old. She loves Rapunzel even though I swore I wouldn’t encourage the Disney Princess thing. She can put her own shoes on (she will even ask me which shoe goes on which foot). She can wash her own hands and brush her own teeth. She can find the Pringles no matter where I hide them. She’s amazing. She is capable of so much, I know she is capable of sleeping on her own.
After sleeping in her own room last night for the majority of it, she was much better behaved today. Only one major tantrum as opposed to three or four. She was able to choose which toy she wanted at the store and put the others back. She was able to consider what I said when I threatened her with taking away her newly bought zebra if she didn’t shape up in the car.
The power struggle with a three year old is very real. The tantrums are worse as well. Baby Girl will say she wants something – no the PINK one Mommy – and then immediately pretend she has no idea what you are talking about, she actually wants the BLUE one now. She will say she’s hungry and then you set dinner before her and she freaks out and starts having a tantrum in the middle of the living room and refuses to eat. You don’t even know why. She probably doesn’t know why.
Somehow Sissy is able to get her looking adorable each morning. When Mommy tries to get her dressed, Baby Girl usually ends up in a skirt and her pajama top. Honestly Sissy is going to be a great Mom someday. She doesn’t take any shit. Of course, she also lets Baby Girl eat crap all day, in the living room, making a tremendous mess. Anyway, I digress. I know I need to take a stand, both Baby Girl and I need more structure. More rules and less struggle. I think that getting Baby Girl in her own room for sleeping is the key. More space for me, and better sleep, means that I will not be too damn tired to enforce the rules that Baby Girl so desperately needs.
The Aftermath of Surgery has been a hurricane. I’m ready for some mild weather.