Month: March 2017

It’s 10 am. Baby Girl likes to play hide and seek. She’ll get all serious, start whispering and put her finger to her lips – shhhh she tells me, we need to hide! But if we hide Baby Girl, who is going to find us? Daddy will! she says. Sure he will Baby, in a few hours when it occurs to him to look for us.  We’re in her bedroom, playing. She opens the closet door and yanks and tugs my arm until I agree to hide in the closet. I sit down in the closet with my back against the wall (this is starting to feel a little weird) and she begins to cover me with stuffed animals. What’s this? She asks. That’s a fla-min-go. Fa-mingo? Yep, that’s right. Fa-mingo goes in my arms. As well as Duck, Bunny, pink puppy, big puppy, plastic giraffe, little white horse, and a pink and blue hat on top of my head to complete the disguise.

Ok shhhhh!! I find you! She closes the door and I sit in the darkness. Hey this isn’t so bad, I think. I don’t mind playing hide and seek. Sit in the quiet peaceful darkness in the closet, away from everything? Right up my alley! Five seconds go by. Then, crrreeeaaakkk – door starts to open. I wait patiently. She jumps in and “I find you!!!” she screeches. Yep you found me alright. Why don’t we play again Baby? You leave me here and go do something else for awhile and come find me again in an hour, ok? OK Mama! 10 seconds this time. “I FIND YOU!” Damn. Not exactly what I had in mind.

1o:30 am. Now we’re on to counting pennies. Fascination with her Owl Bank and putting the pennies in and taking them out again. No use at all for the three $5 dollar bills she has received from her Godparents. She tosses those aside. Pennies are much more entertaining than $5 bills! If only we all could be so easy to please as regards money. I manage to sneak out while she’s counting “1, 2, 5, 7…2, 11, 8…”

11:15 am. I am happily sorting laundry (why do people complain about laundry? I don’t mind it at all – almost immediate gratification and relaxing as well) when Baby Girl has decided she’s done counting. I think it’s been at most 5 minutes. Mama! Dance me! Jump me! Monkey on the bed! Pwease?! Little hands up under her chin and sweetly tilting her head to one side and looking up at me under her eyelashes. Little conniver. OK I say, let’s go jump. So I hold her hands and sing “Five little monkeys jumping on the bed” for what seems like eternity while she jumps up and down on the chaise in my office. I’ll be singing “one fell off and bumped her head” all night now. Instead of sleeping. Mama I hungy!! I swear this kid should be growing like a weed considering how much she eats. But she’s still tiny. So we go find pea-butter and cwackers and yogurt.

11:45 am. Once she’s happily eating and watching “Mouse” I sneak off to do some more work. I’m busily working on the computer in my office when it occurs to me that it’s awfully quiet. I can hear Mouse but nothing else. Damn I think. I have to go investigate. She’s no longer eating her pea-butter. She’s not in the living room. She’s not in the playroom. Ah ha! She’s in her bedroom reading her books out loud to her babies. Awww. So sweet! I’ll just watch silently for a min… ah crap, she saw me peak around the door. MAMA!! Come wead me! Sigh. So much for getting any work done. But there’s no way you can NOT go investigate when your almost 3-year old is being eerily quiet. Because chances are she’s not sweetly reading to her babies. You’ll usually find her coloring on something that isn’t paper. Or covering herself in yogurt. Or giving her dolls a bath. Or trying to brush the cat’s teeth. Investigating the silence is imperative.

12:30 pm. OK Baby, I’ve read 12 books, I need to go do some work. It’s nap time, isn’t it? NOOOOOOO no nap, I not sweepy, I wake up! Tantrum starts to escalate due to the threat of my undivided attention being taken away. Baby, I say, it’s sleepy time. NOOOOOO! I can’t! I can’t sweep! OK how about you go do the laundry and clean the house and run the business, and I’ll sleep. I don’t mind. She just stares at me, still crying. Eventually I get her to go to sleep. In my bed, with all her “stuff” – which includes blankie, snuggie, multiple paccy’s, Mouse, little mouse, Kitty and sippy cup (water – don’t freak out). No socks, no pants. This kid has a lot of requirements.

1:30 pm. Thirty minutes later I hear little feet padding down the hall. REALLY?! THIRTY MINUTES?! Sigh. This is going to be a very long day…..

Grandparents are one of life’s greatest blessings. They love their grandchildren with a passion you just can’t find anywhere else. There is something magical about the way they interact with their grandbabies, you can see them practically turn back into children themselves, such is the joy at being so unconditionally loved by these tiny creatures.

Grandbabies get away with everything when grandparents are around. Undivided attention plus sugary snacks equals a Baby Girl that doesn’t want to come home.

Baby Girl’s Granny and Pa Pa are two of her favorite people. They were originally intended to be Grandma and Grandpa, but you know little kids have their own ideas of what these two crazy old folks are to them. And my Dad (Pa Pa) still insists on Grandpa – he needs to just give it up cuz Baby Girl is completely stuck on Pa Pa. And HE calls her Fu Fu. So personally I think they’re quits.

Baby Girl has adored Granny and Pa Pa since day 1. My dad can be a little intimidating – especially when he hasn’t shaved in five months and looks like a starved grizzly bear out for his next meal – but this didn’t put Fu Fu off in the slightest. She took to him immediately. Maybe she knew that you should automatically love the man who buys all the diapers. Pa Pa does a lot of crazy things for his grandkids. He set up a zip line in the back yard – he put in a massive playground type structure in his back forty – he built a pier over the tank for feeding the fish – he put a “hold on” bar across the four wheeler so he could take all the kids for a ride at once (thus no arguing about who’s turn it is). When my brother and I were kids we didn’t have a zip line. Just saying.

And Granny can be summed up like this – Baby Girl is at home with me and sees an advertisement for cookies on the TV. Baby Girl says “Mama I need a cookie.” I say No. Baby Girl immediately comes back with “I need Granny. I need to go to Granny’s house.” Baby Girl is no fool. She knows who is going to give up the cookies. When Baby Girl sees Granny she takes her hand immediately and leads her off to play. At that point I cease to exist. If she needs her pullup changed, Granny has to do it. She needs a bath? Granny. She needs to get dressed? Granny. She wants to color? Granny.

When we got in the truck the other day to go to the horse show in Tyler, Baby Girl asked every five minutes for Granny. Granny’s house? Granny? Go to Granny’s? I need Granny! And every once in awhile she’d throw in a Pa Pa for good measure. Just to let me know he wasn’t forgotten. About two hours into the drive I turned to Sissy and said that I shouldn’t have told her we were going to see Granny until about five minutes before we got there. She refused to sleep on the drive up. But the instant she got into Granny’s car to go back to the house (from the show grounds) she fell asleep. Secure and happy with the fact that she was finally with her beloved Granny and Pa Pa.

Baby Girl doesn’t have tantrums when she’s with Granny and Pa Pa. I mean, tantrums aren’t necessary when you are getting everything your heart desires the very second your heart desires it. As soon as I show up, though, and start being the Mommy, the meltdowns ensue. Mommy insists on bathtime instead of playtime and bedtime instead of watching cartoons. Mommy is not any fun at all. But it’s a relief to know that Baby Girl is safe and happy when I am working. She’s having the time of her life. Granny and Pa Pa will probably need about a week to recover but I know they cherish the time they have with Baby Girl. It’s nice to be adored isn’t it?

Being an older mom, I do wonder if I will ever get this opportunity. How old will I be when Baby Girl has babies of her own? It’s not something I really worry about, but it crosses my mind. My own parents are older, too, and I pray every day that they’ll be around to watch Baby Girl grow up. I never knew either of my grandfathers, so that relationship is particularly special to see.

And the most important reason Baby Girl needs to spend time with Granny and Pa Pa? It gives Mommy a guilt free break! And Mommy rejoices over that.

I buy Baby Girl new toys because I’M bored. I admit it – it’s not her fault. We can go into the store and come out toyless – she will admire, and love on stuffed animals and point things out but if I tell her to put something back she does. And we move on. (This does not apply to the cereal aisle by the way – only toys.) If, however, I go to the store by myself, I will absolutely not come out toyless. I can spend a good thirty minutes cruising the toy aisles, looking for things I think Baby Girl should have. I went to Target yesterday to find an iPhone case. I came out with cat food, cat treats, a puzzle for three year olds and a perfectly adorable 2T Minnie Mouse swimsuit. I looked at Baby Girl toys and clothes for so long that I ran out of time to go to the actual grocery store. There’s something about being in Target all by yourself that makes you feel totally Zen for a little bit. You don’t even have to take a Xanax to go in there like you do for Walmart. You do, right?

I mean honestly, what is the point of having a baby GIRL if you don’t spend hours looking at clothes for her? And as for the toys, well – I don’t play well. I’m implored by Baby Girl to “pway ME!” (meaning play with me mama!) about fifteen times a day. I try, I really do. But playing is boring. I last about five to ten minutes before I’m desperately trying to get up and go do something else. We play with the same toys a billion times. We do the same puzzles, play with the same babies, read the same books and color with the same broken crayons every hour of every day. We watch the same Mouse shows and Doc and Elena and Sofia and the Lion Guard until I can’t stand the sound of any of it.

So then we go outside to play. Or we start playing outside after we feed the horses. Again, I last maybe 15 minutes before I’m begging her “let’s go inside!” (I know – I’m terrible). And Baby Girl really loves being outside, unless it’s cold. She’d stay out there for hours if I could stand it. I love being outside, too, but I have to be working – not just standing around watching her go down a slide fourteen times or pushing her in the swing or picking up rocks. I mean, I get it – playing for her is essential and super fun. That’s what her life is all about right now! It’s just that I have so much to do and so much on my mind that it’s damn near impossible to just completely chill out and while away the hours.

In fact, I absolutely can’t do it. I am ALWAYS thinking about what all I need to do that day in order to keep our house running, our business running, and all the bills paid and my clients happy. Having been almost 39 years old when Baby Girl was born does not lend itself well to slowing down and chilling out when you are used to doing things all day long in an effort to get shit done. I mean, if I didn’t still have the business, then of course it would be easier – but I would still be bored out of my mind. I like to be busy. I like to work outside – I like to accomplish tasks and cross things off lists. I like to relax in the evening after a day spent DOING. I don’t relax during the day even without Baby Girl imploring me to.

I also like to make Baby Girl happy. So I buy new toys. So that I can play for another twenty minutes and not want to be doing something else. I like organizing her playroom, too, but that is a fruitless task. I have this image of a perfectly organized, clean and pleasant space where Baby Girl will happily and quietly play with something, put it away, and get something else out. And it will stay organized and peaceful and we will live a happy and uncluttered life every single day. This image is fleeting. The moment is non-existent.

Maybe I’ll go to Target again today.