I have been taking comfort in my own home lately. Retreating you might call it. (Or hiding). Really enjoying the fact that the heat is on at night and it is getting chillier and more like winter. In years past I have not typically enjoyed winter – long nights, short days and not much to do. Being cold. Freezing your ass off (literally – because full chaps don’t cover your butt cheeks) while riding and teaching, getting mud and dirt and snow and horse hair everywhere, and re-scheduling endless lessons due to same mud and snow and WET STUFF and WHEN will it be spring?!
This year somehow it seems different. I’m not teaching that much, we have fewer horses to take care of right now and if it wants to rain and be muddy – I just hope the horses keep their shoes on. I am not going to worry so much about the weather (well maybe a little) or having to clean the stalls a billion times – something I get to avoid most of the year because we leave our horses out all the time. The horses are well fed, we have a hot water hook up to the barn now and lights and my Dad’s four wheeler. I have a baby girl old enough to entertain herself and not get into too much trouble in the barn. (The 2 year old I mean – the 15 year old gets herself into plenty of trouble in the barn!).
Inside, my Baby Girl is watching A Curious George Christmas and resolutely taking the “toys” off the Christmas tree while I resolutely continue to put them back on. She thinks the lights are magical. She has no idea yet who Santa Claus is or what is coming on Christmas morning. She’s doing crafty little Christmas things at school and learning Christmas songs and having a great time. I get to dress her up in cute little Christmas themed outfits and pajamas. I get to show her about hot chocolate and marshmallows, popcorn and Christmas cookies. She’ll learn what reindeer are. She sat on Santa’s lap and didn’t cry – wouldn’t smile either but hey you take what you can get sometimes. She has her Daddy’s smirk.
She won’t get a Hatchimal this year because she doesn’t know what they are yet. She doesn’t connect things she sees on TV to things she could actually acquire. A Charlie Brown Christmas will only be another cartoon she gets to watch and Mickey’s Christmas Carol will just be another “Mouse” show. She’s not thumbing through the Toys R Us catalog or making a ridiculous list of expensive stuff she doesn’t need. Today I bought her some Welch’s Fruit Snacks and THAT made me the greatest Mommy ever. A week or so ago somebody brought her a used plastic dollhouse with plastic furniture and plastic dolls and she has played with that thing non-stop ever since.
This year I am stepping back. Taking it all in and chilling out. I am not stressed about Christmas. I have done what shopping I felt like doing and now I’m done. I’ve done a few cards. I did not manage to buy lights for the house. But I don’t care. The family pictures we took in Frisco’s central park didn’t turn out very well and Baby Girl was sick the entire week after that. Oh well. Nobody gets pictures of the Tullos family this year. For the next three weeks I will simply be watching Baby Girl enjoy this season that I love so much. Next year she might realize who Santa is and what it means, she might ask for presents. Things might be a little stressed. I might feel like I have to cook (buy) a big Christmas dinner or mail a thousand cards to everyone I’ve ever known. I might not be so relaxed about a broken ornament or two. I might stress over getting the gifts just right. I might have to wade through Hell to find a Hatchimal.
But not this year. It’s warm and cozy in here. I think I’ll open another bottle of wine and watch Mickey’s Christmas Carol with my Baby Girl.
