Trick or Treat Toddler Style

A lot of people really enjoy Halloween. The fall weather, the spooky decorations, the dressing up, the candy. In my immediate family only one of us really enjoys it. And it’s not the toddler. It’s the teenager of course. What’s not to love about dressing up and going around the neighborhood with your friends, freaking each other out and getting a sugar high?

The toddler, on the other hand, has not quite figured this whole “Halloween = candy” stuff yet. By the morning after the trick or treating she had completely forgotten about the bag full of sweets she collected the night before. This was a lucky break for Mama and Sissy – eating the candy is the only part of Halloween that I enjoy. We were more than happy to step in on the candy-eating responsibility of the after trick-or-treating.

Back back to the beginning of October. When tacky costumes, orange and black crap and Halloween candy is the first thing you are assaulted with when you enter any retail store. And you’d better be pretty quick to decide and select because by a week before Halloween all this stuff is gone. Cleared. Final sales mixed with a small selection of Thanksgiving items. Then BAM, the day after Halloween you get the final sales on the Thanksgiving stuff and Christmas is in full swing. I made the mistake of waiting til a couple days before Baby Girl’s school Halloween party to go looking for something yummy to make for her 2 year old classmates. I found a bag of candy corn and some orange jello. I ended up with banana nut muffins with chopped up candy corn in them and the jello is still in the cupboard. Only a few were eaten.

Oh and I also had to have a costume for Baby Girl by the time of that party. There was to be a “costume parade” through all the classrooms. Now normally I throw a pretty cool Barn Halloween Fest where the kids all dress up their ponies and themselves and play games on horseback which in years past has been hugely popular. This year I was so stressed out about Baby Girl’s Halloween fun that I totally let that go. Did not even get the decorations out of the attic. Not a single pumpkin on my doorstep. My step daughter asked me two days before Halloween if I was going to have the Barn party. Are you out of your mind kid?! Honestly, none of the barn kids sans one even asked if I was going to do it so I guess it was no big loss after all. Although I did want to do a circus theme and have Baby Girl and Corkie (pony) dress up as baby elephants. Maybe next year.

Back to the costume problem. Grandma suggested something easy like a Minnie Mouse dress and ears. MOOOOMMMM that’s way too generic! In retrospect, why do I feel like Baby Girl would have happily put that costume on? Anyway, I searched. And I searched. Looked in stores. Looked online. Could not decide on anything. If I’d had more energy I’m sure I could have created something she would have loved. But creating something this year did not even enter into the stratosphere of possibilities. I was going to buy something cute! Finally I settled on an adorable Lion costume I found at Target. Took it home thinking Baby Girl would love it. She loves to roar at us with her little plastic Fisher Price lion so this was a sure thing right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.

Here is a picture of Dada wearing the lion costume on his head trying to convince Baby Girl it’s cute and a good idea. You can tell by the look on her face that this is not working. She really enjoyed roaring with Dada. But only while HE was wearing the costume.

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Not to be discouraged I thought, “Alright. She’ll get used to it. I’ll leave it in her playroom and she can mess around with it and maybe she’ll want to put it on at some point.”

Yeah. No. She simply moved it out of her way in order to do other things. Never even looked at it. So on the morning of the party I packed it up with her and the candy corn banana nut muffins and headed off to school. Huge diarrhea blow out on the way there. Have to pull over and get her all cleaned up. Have to take her pants off. So I get to the school and of course even with the pit stop I’m still the first one there (I am always the first one there) and I’m standing outside holding a cranky toddler with a diaper and a tee shirt on with her lion costume still in the truck while all these other adorable cuties are walking up in princess dresses and bumblebee costumes and PJ Masks Cat Boy outfits. I don’t even bother to say anything.

Finally inside the classroom I explain that I need to borrow the pants that are in her “extra clothes” cubby and that I can’t get her to wear her costume. The teacher (a saint) says go get the costume, maybe I can get it on her. Sure lady, we can try. Sure enough, she bribes my kid with M&M’s and the costume goes on long enough for me to get this picture:

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You can tell she loves it. I have no idea how long the costume stayed on. I hightailed it out of there and left the teacher to it.

So on Halloween night I was sure I could bribe her again to get it on so we could go trick or treating. We pull over in the neighborhood we visited for this purpose and I get her out of the car seat and tell her it’s time to put her costume on. OH HELL NO. The fight is on. She screams and cries and I beg and plead and offer candy. Dada sits in the truck with an “I told you so” look. Finally I decide that once she sees other kids with their costumes on she will agree. How am I so dead wrong all the time? I swear I used to know things.

Sooooo we ended up trick or treating in a onesie and tennis shoes. To their credit everybody remarked how adorable she is and did not ask where her costume was. It’s a good thing because I probably would’ve gone for their necks. Or broke down crying. Baby Girl quickly learned two new words – house and lights. Because I told her we could only go ask for candy at the houses with lights on. Predictably when it came time to go home she threw a major fit and screamed HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE until I physically picked her up and chunked her none too softly into her car seat. The kid is brave though. She walked up to all sorts of scary things and grabbed her candy. She wasn’t going to miss out just ‘cuz something was a little creepy. AND she even leaned down and kissed a little pumpkin light thing on someone’s walk way and said it was cute. Awwww.

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