Raise your hand if you have ever wanted to have temper tantrum like a toddler. Oohhh Oohh Me! Me! Can I please just throw myself on the floor and scream at the top of my lungs and bang my fists and howl, just because I have to actually get dressed and not wear pajamas all day? To be specific, the Peppa Pig pajamas. Day in… day out.
I have recently discovered that a toddler can have a monumental tantrum at any time of the day for any reason. I did not truly understand or appreciate this until the past few months. I thought Baby Girl had entered the terrible two stage way before her second birthday. Let me tell you… I WAS SO WRONG. One year old tantrums are nothing like two year old tantrums. At one, you can still typically pacify with some other idea – like hey! How about we wear the mickey mouse shirt today? Or you can just pick them up and move them as they cry, and they will snuffle and be sad but then get distracted and be totally over it. At two, there is no such thing as a short display of dissatisfaction. There is no bargaining, there is no cajoling, there is nothing to do but stand and watch in admiration as this tiny sweet child of yours turns into a wretched, writhing, howling monster.
At first it really bothered me, and I would watch her scream and wonder “what can I do to fix this?” The answer is NOTHING. Walk away Dearie, just walk away. Because that tantrum is going to last as long as the child wants it to and not a second less. I have watched her scream and roll on the floor in the Old Navy bathroom for about ten minutes while I contemplated exactly what kind of germs she was picking up by doing so. The poor lady in a stall when we came in had to gingerly step over the howling mess that was my child so she could wash her hands. She kindly did not say a word as she left the bathroom. Baby Girl finally stopped and I said ok let’s go and she calmly took my hand and was perfectly fine for the rest of the shopping excursion. I wasn’t fine though. That was the last time I have taken Baby Girl on a clothes shopping excursion. Maybe I’ll try it again when she’s 10. Or 20.
Of course the best tantrum of all is in the middle of the night (or at 5:30 am) when you both are supposed to be sleeping. Holy Mother of God, WHY won’t the child just snuggle in and go back to sleep when she wakes up instead of throwing a massive fit and demanding to watch EE? (T.V. for those of you not versed in toddler language). And WHY do I have to sit in the chair in her room while she demands me to “Wock, mama, WOCK!” until she falls back asleep? Why do I have to rock the damn chair when she’s not even in it with me?! And then sneaking out only to have my knees crack and her stick her arm out and say “noooooo!” so I have to sit back down and WOCK until she is snoring. So. Much. Fun.
Anyways, fellow mamas, don’t despair. Watch in admiration and amusement instead of distress when your two year old throws a tantrum over wanting gummy bears instead of toast (or whatever you are serving) for breakfast. The other evening Baby Girl refused to come sit and eat dinner with me. So I sat down and started eating while she screamed in the other room. She eventually decided she was rather hungry after all and came in the kitchen and calmly sat in her chair and started to eat. I didn’t say a word. We ended up both eating peacefully and happily while watching House Hunters on EE. Totally worth the 10 minute screaming fit, over the 30-60 minute battle it would have been if I had decided to engage. I have learned a lot these past few months, my friends. Some good, some bad, it’s all about that toddler and winning the war of motherhood.
But. Holy Jesus, please don’t tell me Three is even worse.
